Chapter 8: Crushing Defeat of the Northern Barbarians

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Tuoba Hong had wanted to leave more than anyone else. But if the hundred-thousand-strong army retreated in shame, where would his face be? Struggling to prop himself up halfway, his eyes bloodshot, his voice hoarse, he commanded, “Fight once more!” “Murong Hui, take your men and charge again!” “Just once! If we can’t take it, then we retreat! At least then we have an explanation!” This was both an order and the last lifeline he offered himself. Murong Hui reluctantly obeyed, though he wished otherwise, but faced with Tuoba Hong’s murderous glare, he could only grit his teeth and comply.

…

“Report—” “The Northern Di army, they’re coming again!” In the command post at Yanmen Pass, Zhao Zhao sprang to his feet, hand already on his sword’s hilt. “All troops, prepare for battle!” “Wait.” Zhao Yi’s lazy voice interrupted, yawning as he rubbed his eyes. “Send an order.” “Throw open the gates wide.” Zhao Zhao’s eyes nearly popped out. “Are you mad? What do you intend to do?” Zhao Yi cast him a sidelong glance, speaking slowly, “Father, have you ever heard of the Empty City Stratagem?” “A hundred years ago, General Li Buxin was besieged by a hundred-thousand-strong enemy force with only two thousand elderly, weak, and sick inside the city.” “He threw open the gates and sat alone on the tower, playing the zither.” “The enemy commander, seeing this, thought, ‘This bastard must be up to something,’ and fled in terror, retreating thirty miles overnight.” Zhao Zhao was dumbfounded. Li Buxin? He racked his brain but could not recall any such figure in the annals. Zhao Yi gave him no time to ponder, ascending the city tower and nodding at Li Jin and Li Yin. Li Jin understood immediately, hoisting a makeshift megaphone fashioned from a copper pot, took a deep breath, and shouted down to the dense formation of the Northern Di army below. “Murong Hui! You son of a bitch! Your grandfather’s opened the gates for you—come on in! Come on! Have fun! We’ve got plenty of time!” Below, Murong Hui, mounted on his horse, stared at the wide-open gates and the calm figure atop the tower, every hair on his body standing on end. His heart skipped a beat, panic rising. An ambush! This was definitely an ambush!

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That bastard had thrown the gates wide open just to mock me! He recalled the blood holes riddling Tuoba Hong’s back, the “golden juice” that had rained down from the sky, and the curses that had made men vomit blood. Zhao Yi was capable of anything! Behind those gates, there could be any number of pits dug, countless soldiers lying in wait, or perhaps… something even more terrifying than that golden juice! To enter meant death. To retreat meant death as well. Murong Hui’s face turned pale with indecision before his survival instinct won out. “Retreat! Quickly retreat! It’s an ambush!” He whipped his horse around and led the charge back, fearing that if he delayed any longer, he would join Tuoba Hong’s fate. The Northern Di army came on fiercely but fled faster than the tide. On the city tower, Zhao Zhao, Ma Zhong, and all the soldiers were petrified, mouths agape, staring at the fleeing Northern Di soldiers, their minds blank. This... this was actually possible? At the Northern Di main camp, Murong Hui scrambled into the command tent. “Commander! We’ve been tricked! They opened the gates just to lure us to our deaths!” After hearing this, Tuoba Hong’s last shred of hope vanished. He slumped on the couch, eyes vacant, waving his hand. “Forget it.” “Retreat.” “Order the entire army to break camp and return to the steppes.” “This cursed place, I never want to set foot in it again.” … Zhao Yi had arrived at Yanmen Pass no more than seven days prior. Seven days, and the hundred-thousand-strong Northern Di army was utterly defeated and forced to retreat. The urgent news traveled eight hundred miles back to the capital, causing the court to erupt in uproar. Empress Wu Mingkong studied the battle report silently for a long time. As detailed combat intelligence was laid one by one before her desk, her mesmerizing face took on a most intriguing expression. “Golden juice?” “Cursing the enemy until their general vomits blood?” “Night harassment to exhaust their wits?” “Trench ambushes aimed at the commander’s backside?” “And… even sending a pink bellyband as a gift?” After reading, the Empress rubbed her temples, looked out the window, and murmured, “Is this… something a human could do?”

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… After resting for several days at Yanmen Pass, Zhao Yi and his father Zhao Zhao reorganized the army and set out for the capital. They left in desolation and returned in glory. Ma Zhong, the governor of Yanmen, led the entire city’s military and civilians to escort them for ten miles. “General! Young General! We cannot thank you enough!” “Yanmen Pass will never forget your kindness!” … The triumphant army arrived in the capital, Luoyang. The Empress herself led the officials to welcome them outside the Zhuque Gate. The entire city emptied as tens of thousands thronged the streets, their cheers thunderous. Gossip spread from every corner. “Did you hear? That useless scion of the Zhao family drove the Northern Di away!” “Nonsense! That guy who writes ‘white on a yellow dog’s back’ can fight? I’d twist his head off and kick it like a ball!” “It’s true! My third uncle’s second cousin is in the army and says Young General Zhao Yi is like a god descended to earth!” The next day, more detailed “battle reports” spread through all sorts of whispers across the city. “Holy crap! Have you heard about Young General Zhao’s clever retreat tactics?” “What tactics?” “Golden juice! They say it was brewed! One spoonful and even immortals can’t save you!” “Ugh—stop it! Is that for real?” “And that’s not all! He insulted the Northern Di commander’s entire ancestry, cursing him until he vomited blood!” “My goodness! That’s no general, that’s a living Bodhisattva!” As Zhao Yi, clad in silver armor and mounted on a white horse, rode slowly down Zhuque Street with the army, all criticism turned to thunderous cheers. “Look! It’s him! The one in silver armor! That’s Young General Zhao Yi!” “My heavens! So handsome! Yet he’s so ruthless!” A plump merchant squeezed through the crowd, excitedly telling those nearby. “You don’t understand! That’s called cunning and resourcefulness! I heard he even sent the enemy commander a pink bellyband! Psychological warfare! That’s what I call a man!” A woman looked at Zhao Yi, tugged on her daughter’s sleeve, eyes shining. “Daughter, see that? That’s the one. Your mother approves.” From the city tower, the Empress watched the mass of people admiring Zhao Yi and spoke softly to the eunuch beside her. “Issue an edict.” “Northern General Zhao Zhao and vanguard Zhao Yi have labored through hardships and achieved great merit.” “Order father and son to return home and rest for one day.” “At tomorrow’s morning court, confer further rewards.”