104 A Parting by Death

Darkness does not necessarily give way to light.

The sky remained a dull gray, not the pitch-black of night, but the dimness before dawn. It felt as if the heavens had collapsed, pressing heavily upon my heart.

Lying like this at the foot of the mountain—I could not believe I was actually here. Such madness.

Yun Heng and Li Yexuan were both shrewd men. As a mere woman, unable to see through their schemes, I suppose I deserved this.

Throughout that night in the mountains, I replayed the events following the fall of my kingdom. Perhaps the very moment Yun Heng saved me was already a ploy to use me. Many of my unexpected encounters with Li Yexuan must have been part of his plan as well. Though they stood on opposing sides, they seemed to conspire together, pushing me back and forth like a pawn.

Sharing a bed, entwined like mandarin ducks—what a joke. While I slept, did the man beside me plot each night how to use me to break Yun Heng? The throne of Yuehua Kingdom was his true desire; even women were mere tools to be wielded. The imperial family was ruthless—this much I knew.

Pain on my face and body forced me to try to rise.

Still in Yuehua Kingdom, surely it wasn’t safe here.

My left hand had gone numb—it seemed broken.

With my right hand, I searched my body and found a dagger for self-defense.

Gripping my left hand with my right, I staggered step by step through the forest. My clothes were torn, but on closer inspection, their value was evident. If I went to the market looking like this, I would only draw unwanted attention; it would be impossible to hide. I had no choice but to cross this mountain ridge before making any further plans.

Throughout the journey, my thoughts never left Li Yexuan. I knew him so well; whenever he approached, I could sense his presence. I should ask him directly whether he had been using me all along, but I lacked the courage.

The mountain path was rough, and my injuries forced me to pause often, watching the blood on the back of my hand congeal. I worried about my body’s condition.

Slowly, I made my way toward a nearby mountain spring.

First, I dropped to one knee, then collapsed beside the rushing water.

The spring’s current was swift, and my reflection could not be seen.

I dipped my right hand into the cold water; it stung, but the flow washed away the bruised blood.

I had a cloth in my arms; I soaked it and gently wiped my wounds, steadfastly holding back tears.

It took me an entire hour just to tend to my injuries. Thankfully, dawn had arrived. Looking down the mountain, I saw a crowd ascending.

Ignoring the risk of losing my cloth to the spring, I staggered toward the mountain’s peak.

At the cliff’s edge, I had nowhere left to flee.

Yun Heng, Yun Rong, and Li Yexuan had all come.

Ha, were they here to watch me die?

“Why stop running, you little wretch?” Yun Rong sneered, but Yun Heng stopped her.

“Mu Fan, since you already know, I won’t hide the truth. Prince Xuan cannot tolerate you, but the gates of my general’s mansion are open to you,” Yun Heng stepped forward.

“Come back with me,” he commanded.

“Yun Heng, Li Yexuan—truly the legends of Yuehua Kingdom. Finding me so quickly is no small feat,” I sneered, emphasizing “no small feat.”

Drawing the dagger from my body, I pressed it against my own throat.

“What are you doing?” they cried.

“Stop!” they shouted.

Their voices did not move me. I had indeed underestimated Li Yexuan’s strength. With a palm strike, my dagger was knocked from my hand, tumbling down the cliff.

“Don’t come any closer,” I backed away two steps, the abyss behind me.

“Yun Heng, Li Yexuan, I just want to ask one thing: is it because Huangfu Ziyun is dead that you turned to me, a mere servant girl? Your true goal is the treasure rumored to be left in Lingyun Kingdom, isn’t it? Tell me!” I demanded.

Yun Heng nodded. Li Yexuan said nothing.

“Yun Heng, from the start, you knew I was infatuated with you, didn’t you? The vile drug that night—that was you who administered it, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was me. I stayed in the shadows. If Li Yexuan hadn’t come, that black-clad man never would have touched you. I would have saved you.”

“So when Li Yexuan arrived, you planned to give me to him, then find a way to control me?”

“Only temporarily. In the end, you would return to me. I would care for you well. Honestly, I regretted it from the start.”

“A mighty war god, yet so deceitful and vile. What kind of man is that?”

“Why are you insulting my brother? Though it was his plan initially, he stopped midway. I acted on my own to drug you. When my brother arrived, you and Li Yexuan were already… involved. Who do you blame? Yourself for being foolish and easily tricked. If you want to die, jump now—don’t waste my time!” Yun Rong’s words pierced me.

“Yun Rong, may you meet a miserable end! Just wait!” I shot her a deadly glare.

Turning to Li Yexuan, “Li Yexuan, you knew of Yun Heng and Yun Rong’s scheme all along, didn’t you? You knew they drugged me.”

“Do you think the prince is as ignorant as you?” he retorted.

I laughed bitterly, my hollow voice echoing through the mountains.

“She’s mad, she’s mad,” Yun Rong kept saying.

“You’re the mad one!” I shouted, no longer tolerating her taunts.

“Li Yexuan, have you ever loved me?”

He remained silent.

My heart died completely.

I closed my eyes, then opened them again, bloodshot and fierce, sweeping over the three of them.

“Li Yexuan, Yun Heng, you’ve all underestimated me.”

“What do you mean?” my smile must have unsettled them.

“Did you truly believe Huangfu Ziyun was dead?”

“She’s not dead? Where is she?” Li Yexuan finally spoke.

“Do you think I’d tell those who use me?”

Li Yexuan took a long stride forward, his sword pointed at me. “Tell me where she is.”

Time seemed to freeze. The world dimmed. He pointed his sword at me, asking where I was.

I wanted to say, “I am Huangfu Ziyun.” The words lingered on my lips but stubbornly changed to: “I will never tell you.” I wanted Huangfu Ziyun to be trapped—unable to live or die; I vowed you would never be together. What? Do you want to kill me?

“You!”

Li Yexuan’s sword thrust forward, piercing my heart. Blood surged within me.

“You want to kill me?” I looked at him in disbelief.

His face was right before me, eyes full of hatred, yet I could no longer reach him.

“You deserve to die.” The blade sank three more inches.

“Do you want to use more force? The sword hasn’t fully pierced me yet; maybe I’ll survive,” the pain in my chest forced me to sink to one knee. My left hand was useless; my right hand clutched the sword. The agony twisted my voice.

Li Yexuan withdrew the sword from my body.

Bitterness filled my mouth; I spat out a mouthful of blood, staining Li Yexuan’s robes.

“Won’t you speak? Where is Huangfu Ziyun, Mu Fan? You’re too stubborn.”

Gritting my teeth, I raised my trembling knee and, though unsteady, stood once more.

A trembling voice escaped my lips.

“I am the 156th generation eldest daughter of the Huangfu family from Lingyun Kingdom—Huangfu Ziyun.” My gaze never left Li Yexuan’s; surprise flickered in his eyes.

“The one burned in Lingyun Kingdom was merely a maid dressed in palace attire. I am the true mistress. Li Yexuan, you never expected this, did you? The one you longed for day and night lay beside you all along. You can forget about everything from Lingyun Kingdom. I, Huangfu Ziyun, would rather destroy it all than give it to you. I misjudged you. I was born a Huangfu, and I shall die a Huangfu ghost—proud and unyielding, never bowing to you. Even in death, I will not forgive you. Li Yexuan, I will never let you have me. I curse you to live forever haunted by the nightmare of having killed me with your own hands!”

Li Yexuan reached out to support me. His trembling hands, stained with my blood, dropped the sword onto the ground.

Resolute, I stepped back, then leapt off the cliff, choosing death as my farewell.

“No, Ziyun…” Li Yexuan’s voice echoed from the cliff’s edge. He lay prone, held back by Yun Heng and Yun Rong, who gripped him tightly, preventing his fall.

I love you…

I don’t know if he saw my silent lips. I closed my eyes and did not look again, tears streaming down my cheeks. I loved Li Yexuan. Only now did I realize, but it was too late. You loved Huangfu Ziyun, never knowing that Huangfu Ziyun was Mu Fan, and Mu Fan was Huangfu Ziyun—but you loved only Huangfu Ziyun, not Mu Fan. I thought that by staying by your side, you would see me, fall in love with me, and then I could tell you the truth. But it was too late. I never waited, and you never waited.

Fate denied us, life and death parted us.

Li Yexuan’s name reverberated in my ears.

I used to be so afraid. On every night of tenderness, I feared that one day you would learn I was the fallen princess and push me away, abandon me, refuse me, stop loving me. But I never imagined that, even if I did nothing, you would still seek to kill me.

To hear you call my name once before death—that is no regret.

Our bond began the day you saved my life after the fall.

And today, I end it here.

I return to you the love, and the affection.

I cannot bear it, nor can I take it with me.

I am the fortunate one; closing my eyes forever is the ultimate release. Soon, I will meet my father and mother. If I plead, they will not blame me for not avenging our fallen kingdom. I will go to them thus.

Li Yexuan, forgive my selfishness for leaving you alone in this world, forced to live with the nightmare of having killed me. I want you to suffer, to remember that Huangfu Ziyun died by your hand while still alive. Love intertwined with hate—I suppose I hate you.

The world says the unattainable woman is unforgivable. I have exchanged such bitterness for your eternal remembrance. It was worth it…