133 Coughing up blood

Drawing back my gaze, I turned and made my way toward the manor.

“Master, it’s time for your medicine,” Suzaku said, appearing at my side as if from nowhere. In her hand was a small pill made from the spirit mushroom—no doubt given to her by Guteng.

“Hmm, you’re thoughtful,” I replied.

“It’s nothing,” she said simply.

Among the four envoys, Suzaku was the only woman. I admired her blend of masculine skill and feminine delicacy, and I preferred to keep her close. With A’fu absent, I felt somewhat unsettled, but Suzaku’s presence was a comfort.

We both retired to rest, yet as night fell, sleep eluded me entirely. Memories drifted back as if awakening from a long slumber, flooding my mind once more.

Ren An and Yuan Wanyu had been childhood playmates of mine. Unlike Du Qinglian, my bond with them was deep. But as my younger brother grew older, I was always with him, coupled with the constant supervision of palace attendants—my status as princess set in stone—so I was no longer as free as in childhood, though we remained fond of each other.

Years ago, after my brother and I had thoroughly beaten Wang Huan, Mother turned her attention to Ren An. At that time, I did not understand love; I only knew that Brother Ren An treated me kindly. Mother often summoned Ren An and his mother, and I would take him to play at the palace. I suppose those days were difficult for Ren An as well; thinking back, there was little joy in it.

When we were thirteen, we stood together atop the walls of Lingyun Kingdom, gazing down at the land.

Ren An asked, “Ziyun, would you like to be a princess for life?”

I did not grasp his meaning and smiled, “I am a princess for life by birth.”

Ren An laughed and took me to the market.

On that city wall, the words Ren An wanted to say but never finished were: “Ziyun, would you be my princess forever?”

Had it not been for that palace upheaval, I would never have met Yun Heng, Li Yexuan, or Dongfang Qingyu. Had that upheaval not occurred, as a carefree princess, I would probably have forever been Ren An’s princess.

That single palace revolt sent us down two divergent paths, each living very different lives. Out of respect for past ties, I made sure to watch over Ren An carefully within the Fan Tian Pavilion.

Yuan Wanyu loved Ren An deeply, and she knew of my feelings before they truly blossomed. Thus, my nascent affection vanished entirely, which was for the best—they were truly destined for each other.

In the following days, I took no action. Instead, I roamed the manor grounds. Zijun was so anxious he stomped over to me, demanding, and I replied with a single word: “Wait.”

My aunt smiled knowingly behind me; as ever, the old fox was wise. I supposed she had already seen my preparations.

Each day was the same. Not far away, the sea eagle perched on my shoulder, and I retrieved a letter it brought.

I smiled and handed it over to Zijun and my aunt.

The letters from Li Yexuan were all about the baby—how the child had set the imperial kitchen ablaze, declared a desire to learn cooking and promised to make me a meal upon my return. The entire palace had been in uproar all day. The baby even pulled the tutor’s beard, claiming it was to borrow some dust. Clearly, this was my precious son. Li Yexuan tried to discipline him but invariably succumbed to the little one’s charm. The guilt of not being there to witness his growth weighed heavily on me. What had started as a stern admonition turned into Li Yexuan taking the child out for play himself. I had instructed that only he was to take the baby out.

Back at the manor, I picked up brush and ink to write to Li Yexuan. Beyond some reminders about the baby, I requested to borrow the identity of Kong Yulin, the special envoy of Tanghui Palace—known as the Jade-faced Divine Doctor.

The next day, Li Yexuan replied promptly, agreeing and even dispatching the real Jade-faced Divine Doctor, Kong Yulin.

“Don’t ruin my reputation,” he warned.

“Of course not,” I assured him.

Two days later, believing the timing right, news spread throughout Lingyun Kingdom: the Empress Dowager was gravely ill, and a reward was offered for a healer. General Murong issued a call for the Jade-faced Divine Doctor.

Since I knew little of medicine, I decided to pose as Kong Yulin’s apprentice. A bit of disguise made the ruse convincing.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Kong Yulin looked at me, puzzled.

“Throw in your arrogance and disdain. The rest is as usual. Then we head to the Lingyun palace to see the so-called Empress Dowager.”

“Still ruining my reputation,” he muttered.

“...” I said nothing.

At Murong General’s manor gate, I strode forward boldly and kicked the heavy door with such force that, had I possessed even a modicum of skill, it would have shattered into fragments.

“Who are you, daring to provoke the Murong residence!” a servant shouted.

“Impudent!” I raised my voice above theirs. “Hurry and report: the Jade-faced Divine Doctor has arrived! If not, we leave. Do you dare bear the consequences?” Upon hearing the name, the servants hurried inside.

“You’re such a rascal. Does Yexuan know this?” Kong Yulin asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. Since then, he knew the baby was Li Yexuan’s child and treated me with more respect.

Soon, I caught sight of the face I most wanted to trample in my dreams—Murong Shaoxu.

“Is this the Jade-faced Divine Doctor?” he asked.

Before Kong Yulin could speak, I cut in, “So what if I am? So what if I’m not?”

“May I ask, young sir, what you look like?” When seeking a favor, he was suddenly courteous. I supposed Father had been deceived by this man many times.

“My master is the Jade-faced Divine Doctor. Such a figure would never intervene personally. General Murong has invited many to disturb my master’s quiet study,” I said with a haughty hum, playing the foolish apprentice who flaunted his master’s name.

“I am desperate to save my sister. Please forgive the doctor and young sir,” Murong said humbly.

“Unfortunately, my master’s appointments are full for days—General Murong must follow protocol.” I looked at Kong Yulin, flattering him. “Master, the sun is high. Time for your nap. Let’s return.”

Kong Yulin elegantly sighed in relief as Murong Shaoxu’s face darkened.

We did not return to the manor in the countryside but went to a prepared villa. I even hung a sign offering free consultations by the Jade-faced Divine Doctor.

Murong Shaoxu had no choice but to come himself again. Only after paying a substantial sum did Kong Yulin and I agree to accompany him to the Lingyun palace.

This was where I had grown up. The great fire had destroyed everything; all was gone. Six years had brought great changes, and many places had been rebuilt. Upon entering the palace, I became quiet, shedding any airs of arrogance.

I saw Murong Lan, who looked frail, her eyes empty. It was said she had been like this for a long time, with imperial doctors baffled.

Kong Yulin felt her pulse.

“Doctor, how is the Empress Dowager’s condition?”

He withdrew his hand. “Does she seem weary in her tasks, restless at night, suffering nightmares?”

“Indeed, I have been so lately, yet do not know how to treat it,” she said.

“Heart ailments require heart remedies. I will prescribe several formulas for now.”

Kong Yulin wrote prescriptions. The imperial doctors examined them and nodded approvingly.

Soon, Kong Yulin and I left the palace and boarded a carriage.

“You administered the medicine, didn’t you?”

“Something like that. Did you figure out what it was?” I asked with a sly look. I wondered if this divine doctor was truly skilled.

“It seems to be a hallucinogenic—colorless and tasteless. I nearly missed it.”

“Exactly. Today was just to see if Murong Lan had been sufficiently tormented.”

“Tsk tsk, the most poisonous of women’s hearts.”

“Hmph, so don’t cross me.”

We returned to the manor under cover of the Fan Tian Pavilion’s men. Kong Yulin departed for Yuehua Kingdom, and I made sure to send plenty of gifts for the baby with him. He muttered that his presence was unnecessary; I agreed, but it was Li Yexuan who sent him, not me.

My aunt and Zijun were curious about my activities over the past two days.

“Just checking if Murong Lan was alive or dead. If dead, the fun’s over.” Of course, they knew the young Empress Dowager was gravely ill.

“Elder sister, did you set this trap?”

“Remember at the Maple Leaf auction when I had Guteng sell the Eastern Pearl to Wang Huan? Murong Lan had a fondness for Eastern Pearls, so naturally, it ended in her hands.”

“You poisoned the pearl?”

“No. That pearl soaked for three years in many herbs—half from the desert’s hallucinogens; the other half was administered secretly by my informants. The desert hallucinogen is harmless alone, but combined, they form a deadly toxin. When Murong Lan closes her eyes, she sees the vengeful spirits of those she wronged come for her soul.”

Zijun and my aunt were stunned, then applauded.

I have always been one to detest evil; debts owed to me must be repaid.

Just then, Guteng returned, having completed his tasks.

“Guteng, thank you for gathering our people these past days.”

“Of course.”

“Zijun and aunt must prepare. The war may soon begin.”

“Understood.”

“I’m tired. I’ll rest a while.”

“Good, go ahead.”

I walked to my room, trying to keep my steps natural. Once inside and the door closed, a trickle of blood seeped from the corner of my mouth.

“Master...” Suzaku said softly.

“I’m fine. Keep quiet—don’t say a word. Help me lie down.”

“Suzaku knows.”

I closed my eyes and felt her wipe my mouth gently.

When I opened them, I saw her.

“Why do you look like you want to cry?”

“Master, you’ve been coughing up blood more frequently lately.”

“I am tired. Remember, don’t tell anyone. If you want, stay with me a while.”

“Suzaku will.”

In a haze, I fell asleep. In this homeland, my dreams carried me back to the past. Still the same—I suffered nightmares, appearing half-dead, trapped between life and death.