149 Learning the Truth

For two consecutive days, I did not step out of my room once. Guteng came every day without fail to bring me prenatal medicine. I had entrusted our baby to Zijun, asking him to take both the child and Aling back to the Lingyun Kingdom first. The Lingyun Kingdom needed Zijun, and with Xuxun and my aunt looking after the baby, I felt at ease. After all, I was already overwhelmed and in no condition to care for him myself. With the Twelve Executioners present, there were no safety issues to worry about either.

I had promised Zijun I would return to the Lingyun Kingdom. I was born there, and it was only natural that I should die there too. They say fallen leaves return to their roots; how could I bear to remain stranded abroad? Besides, I had been wandering for far too long, yet the time spent back home had been far too short.

The night grew exceptionally cold, and a fine, pattering rain began to fall. Afu closed the window for me.

"Princess, please forgive Afu for speaking out of turn, but this rain is quite heavy. His Highness has been standing at the entrance of the Fantian Pavilion for two days without moving an inch. If this rain keeps up, he is likely to collapse soon. When the time comes, at least he can keep the Princess company in the afterlife, but it is such a pity for the little baby to be left all alone in this world..." Afu's voice trailed off into a murmur, though she did not forget to steal a sideways glance at me.

I stood up and picked up an oiled paper umbrella.

"Princess, I am going to brew some ginger soup..." Afu's voice echoed from behind me.

I told myself that going out to see him was merely to persuade him to leave. I simply did not want him to pass away before me; our baby could live without a mother, but could never bear to lose a father as well.

The rain was indeed heavy, splashing against the hem of my dress, yet my thoughts had already drifted far away, rendering me insensible to the cold.

Finally, I reached the entrance of the Fantian Pavilion. Li Yexuan was standing right there below the stone steps. His black robes seemed to blend him seamlessly into the dark night, and the driving rain drenched his entire form, making it difficult for me to see his face clearly. Yet, I could still feel the scorching intensity of his gaze, which had never once left me.

Clutching the handle of the oiled paper umbrella tightly, I stepped down the stairs one by one. Every step was taken with utmost caution, as if the slightest lack of resolve might cause me to collapse. The journey felt agonizingly long.

When I reached him, I held the oiled paper umbrella over his head. His hand closed over mine where I gripped the handle, gently pushing the umbrella back toward my side.

"I am already soaked through. Just keep it over yourself."

"Leave."

I shoved the umbrella into his hand and turned to walk away. In the very next second, however, I was caught from behind in a tight embrace, and my tears blended with the relentless rain washing over us.

"Do not leave. Tell me, if I were to seize you by force and clash with your people from the Fantian Pavilion, what odds of success would I have?"

"Zero."

"I will not let you go. This time, absolutely not." He turned me around to face him and pressed his lips to mine. Our tears and the rain mingled together, leaving us unable to tell whether it was cold or hot.

Dongfang Qingyu and Guteng had also arrived, but they stayed back without stepping forward to interrupt us.

When I finally stopped responding to Li Yexuan's kiss, he opened his eyes and saw my body beginning to slip downwards, growing further and further away from him. In the end, he caught me just before I fell.

"Zijun, what is wrong? What is the matter with you?" His voice rang anxiously in my ears. I forced my eyes open with great effort to see Dongfang Qingyu and Guteng running toward us.

"Quickly, carry her back inside."

At Guteng's shout, Dongfang Qingyu scooped me up from Li Yexuan's arms and broke into a run.

"You must not have-you must not give in! Look, he is finally here. Why can't you hold on just a little longer? Do not forget, you still have a child! Haven't you always risked your life for this child? It was like this five years ago, and it is like this now! You must pull through, you must endure..." Dongfang Qingyu shouted the entire way. I imagine Li Yexuan must have heard every word. Struggling to open my eyes once more, I caught sight of Li Yexuan standing rigidly frozen in place.

"Afu, quickly, help her change her clothes." Dongfang Qingyu called out the moment he stepped across the threshold.

A folding screen blocked them from view. Afu wept as she helped me change out of my damp garments, murmuring repeatedly that it was all her fault. Meanwhile, every single word spoken outside the screen drifted clearly into my ears.

"What has happened to Zijun? What on earth are you all keeping from me?"

"What has happened? Li Yexuan, are you blind..."

"Qingyu, say no more. Since you already know that Zijun's body cannot hold out much longer, if you are willing, let the Jade-Faced Divine Doctor Kong Yuelin try. Perhaps he is the only one with a way. Once Zijun recovers, she can choose whether to tell him herself or not."

"What on earth has happened..."

"Change into dry clothes and go find him quickly. She may not last half a month. If you fail to find him in time, you will collapse first."

"Alright."

Guteng and Dongfang Qingyu entered the room and said to me, "Sleep in peace. He will return."

I nodded and closed my eyes.

Sensing a hand resting upon my pulse, I fluttered my eyes open to see Kong Yuelin standing before me. He looked at me with an expression of profound astonishment, and after a long moment, exchanged a meaningful glance with those in the room, signaling them to step outside to talk.

My fingers hooked weakly around Kong Yuelin's hand as he started to withdraw it.

"Speak here. Let her know," Dongfang Qingyu said quietly.

"Go ahead. I was afraid you might hold preconceived notions, so I said nothing," Guteng added. Li Yexuan merely nodded in agreement.

"If my diagnosis is correct, she once ingested the Great Desert's supreme treasure, the Ningxiang Pill. However, that was roughly five years ago, and if not for precious medicinal elixirs sustaining her vitality, she would likely have perished long ago. Yet, no matter how potent the medicine, it cannot extend a life indefinitely. Her senses are beginning to fail, and her blood can no longer circulate properly through her body. She has likely reached the point where she can neither speak nor walk..."

Kong Yuelin's words fell heavy and grim. Apart from myself, no one could take the news with equanimity, and they all lowered their heads.

"Save her!" After the initial shock, Li Yexuan grabbed Kong Yuelin with a desperate, death grip. I had never seen him so utterly devoid of composure.

Kong Yuelin shook his head, but Li Yexuan refused to let go.

"Are you not a divine doctor? Did you not inherit your master's mantle..."

"It is useless. Even if my master were here, he would be powerless. All I can do is apply acupuncture to ease some of her pain..."

Li Yexuan seized my hand. "Say something to me. Tell me this isn't true. Speak to me—hit me, scold me if you wish, but do not just lie here in silence! We finally managed to marry, and our baby has not yet grown up..."

"Yexuan, Zijun is pregnant. The child places her in even greater danger." Kong Yuelin's words left Li Yexuan utterly stunned.

"It was her choice not to abort it. Do you not wish to know the truth of what happened to her? I will tell you..."

"Qingyu..." Dongfang Qingyu's words were cut short by Guteng.

"Things have reached this pass; let him know."

"Very well." Although Guteng saw me shake my head in refusal, she tacitly acquiesced to Dongfang Qingyu's words.

"Five years ago, I heard your quarrel in the mountains and watched you strike her with a sword with your own hands. Recognizing her as the person who had saved me years prior, I rescued her from the foot of the mountain and fled all the way with her to her island. Her constitution was already exceptionally weak, and having fallen off a cliff, the child was barely preserved. When she was eight months pregnant, a coup occurred in the Yuehua Palace, and news of your death reached us. Overwhelmed with grief and panic, she went into premature labor and insisted on saving the child at all costs, resulting in a massive hemorrhage..." Dongfang Qingyu choked up, unable to continue. Guteng sighed and picked up the story.

"With only a breath left in her, I had no choice but to administer the Ningxiang Pill. After that, she never spoke your name again."

Dongfang Qingyu lunged forward and grabbed Li Yexuan by the collar, but upon catching sight of my pleading gaze, he let him go.

"Five years later, when word of your injuries spread, I brought her to see you. That was the first time her condition relapsed."

"Later, during the campaign against the Lingyun Kingdom, you... we had no choice but to give her a life-saving pill, which would buy her at most three months. She remained unconscious for three days. Before marrying you, she asked for contraceptive pills, yet she conceived anyway. You are driving her to her grave! After rescuing the baby, she slept for seven days. Considered as Zijun's elder brother, I would be fully justified in beating you to death today!"

"Hit me if you want. I will not fight back."

Dongfang Qingyu rushed forward and delivered a fierce kick. "Li Yexuan, are you even a man..."

Kong Yuelin tried to intervene, but Guteng entangled him, forcing him to watch as Li Yexuan took the beating.

Unable to speak, I rolled sideways and tumbled off the bed, shaking my head frantically to stop them.

Li Yexuan shoved Dongfang Qingyu aside and scooped me up into his arms.

"Let me stay by her side. The debts I owe, I shall repay." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and gently laid me back onto the bed.

"Yexuan, is the token your master gave you back then still in your possession? Give it to me." Li Yexuan retrieved a jade pendant from his robe; Kong Yuelin possessed its matching pair. I had always felt as though I had seen this pendant somewhere before, yet I could recall nothing now.

"Mobilize everyone in the Hall Assembly. If Master is still alive, we must find him."

"I understand." Kong Yuelin accepted the pendant.

"I will go. The Fantian Pavilion has men as well. You and Guteng focus on researching a cure."

"Agreed."

The door was closed, and Li Yexuan sat on the edge of the bed, gathering me into his embrace.

"Why did you bear all this alone? You never told me. We are husband and wife; we should face adversity together. Zijun, I owe you far too much. How can I ever repay this debt...? In all my life, I have failed you, though I never failed my country. I was a fool who insulted you and subjected you to... Rest assured, I will never leave your side again, not even for a step."

Li Yexuan pulled the quilt up higher, wrapping both of us within its warmth while holding me even tighter.

"If you cannot walk anymore, from now on I will be your legs. Wherever you wish to go, I will accompany you. Before coming here, I settled all affairs in the Yuehua Kingdom; the members of the Yun family are either dead or exiled, and leaving the rest to Li Zheng will pose no problem. The women in the Prince Xuan Mansion have all been dismissed as well. I never touched any of them—they are not you. I belong to you alone, for all the days that remain."

He pressed his cheek against mine from behind, and I felt my face grow even wetter.

"In the past, I believed no woman could ever sway me, yet I fell in love with you back when you were still Mufan. It had nothing to do with status; it was simply that I realized it far too late, causing you to suffer so much hardship. The one who deserves to go to hell is me. It should have been me."

That night, Li Yexuan and I wept together. He held me close and spoke of many, many things, while I fought off sleep just to listen to his voice.

He was terrified that once I drifted off to sleep, I would never wake up again. He kept a vigil by my side, and whenever I slept for too long, he would gently rouse me so I could listen to him chatter or feed me a little food before letting me drift off once more.